Still Daydreaming

Naptime, airplanes, and grown-up dreams

I have mixed feelings when the end of Lent comes at Easter. Especially on a year when I have really enjoyed my Lenten practice. This year: Daydreaming.

I started this journey of Daydreaming for Lent, inspired by Tricia Hersey’s, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto to embrace the gift of unproductive time. I have been giving up the illusion that God needs me to be effective and productive in order to keep world turning. On the contrary, God and the world will do just fine if I take a breather every now and then.

As I write, a 4 year old is napping in the next room. We are with friends, and the youngest of our group needs a breather midday. Honestly, don’t we all? She asked me to read her a story as she settled in to her blankets, and I drew the curtains. Why did adults give up naptime again?

Throughout these past weeks, I honestly have found it difficult to daydream. There’s always just so much to do! Some days, the closest I got was a walk without listening to anything. Looking up at the trees swaying in the wind or an airplane overheard gives me just enough time for a few breaths, to take a mental step back, and let go of whatever is swirling in my head.

I’ve also realized - and grieved, honestly - that I just can’t daydream like a child anymore. When I daydream, I daydream about grown-up things, not magical worlds or heroes and foes. When I look at the clouds, I think about flying over them in a plane and how that feels. I think about hikes I’ve been on to waterfalls or trips to the ocean. These are great things to daydream about, but don’t transport me to another world like when I was a kid.

And so, I’ve let go of wanting to daydream like a child. Instead, I’ve tried to be open to new experiences of peace or even epiphanies that are available to a daydreaming adult.

Unlike other practices that I’m glad to put in the rearview mirror after Lent (like that year I gave up bread), daydreaming is a practice I will gladly continue. I still feel like such a novice! And I’m pretty sure God has more to show me the more I continue my daydreaming practice.

I’ll conclude my formal daydreaming journey with this blessing from Hersey:

“I wish you rest today. I wish you deep knowing that exhaustion is not a normal way of living. You are enough. You can rest. You must resist anything that doesn’t center your divinity as a human being, You are worthy of care.”

Thank you for reading Almost Named Grace with Frances Rosenau. This post is public so feel free to share it.

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~What I’m reading~
A Great Reckoning by Louise Penny