Today is Ash Wednesday. This year in our community, the sign of ashes is that much more poignant. Ashes are still with us. Homes, stores, church buildings, schools have been reduced to ashes. We all witnessed ash falling from the sky.
Ashes are the remnants, the sign of destruction. Ashes are what’s left after everything has been taken away.
So, why do we keep this symbol? Why would we want to wear a sign of destruction? Especially for people whose lives and communities are in ashes, do we really need this extra reminder?
First of all, I am not here to micromanage your discipleship journey. And certainly for anyone who was impacted by the fires or who is acutely living through a time of destruction right now, you know what your heart needs.
I’ll tell you why I’m sticking with Ash Wednesday.
I will have ashes on my head because life isn’t curated. I don’t get to pick and choose what happens to me. Wearing ashes is the opposite of a social media highlight reel. It’s a sign that bad things happen and I know it.
I will have ashes on my head because it keeps me honest. Wearing a sign of destruction allows me to acknowledge and even show the broken places in me.
I will have ashes on my head because I know what it’s like to feel like the remnant of what’s left behind. And this day I don’t have to pretend otherwise.
Ashes feel especially hard always but especially right now because it emphasizes how fragile and fleeting our days are. Nothing is guaranteed. Even the places we take refuge in, like our homes, can be gone in an instant.
Plus that then means other things are fragile and fleeting too. Our neighborhoods are fragile, our communities are fragile, our loved ones, our own lives – all of it.
All of it is dust.
And to dust we shall return.
It’s not that I want to be reminded of these realities. But, just like when I took intentional steps to become friendlier with death, looking head-on at the signs of ruin clarifies in me what I want my life to be for. If destruction is coming – or is here – I know who I will be for.
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~What I’m reading~
Good Inside by Becky Kennedy
The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben
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Such a beautiful reflection, Frances! I really need to grow in becoming "friendlier with death," so thank you for all of these things to chew on. I was reading this morning about St. Francis and how he referred to "Sister Death" in his Canticle of Creation. Death is meant to be a companion to us on the journey of life.
Thank you, and with you on the ashiness today. Hope and memory are twinned.